Every relationship has it’s ups and downs. Whether it’s with our significant others, family members, friends, co-workers, pets, or our hobbies, relationships are cyclical in nature. My relationship with running has never been exempt from that. I’ve gone through periods where I had to drag myself out for every run kicking and screaming, and then I’d turn around a week later and have my mojo back.
Right now I’m going through one of those kicking and screaming spells.
I had a really crappy Gate River Run this year. The first 5 miles weren’t bad – I wasn’t on track to PR, but I also wasn’t doing terribly. Then I slipped, fell, and ate it really hard just past the water stop on Atlantic Blvd and it completely threw me off. I twisted my right ankle, pulled my left calf, and skinned my knees and palms. Awesome. As I stepped to the side to get checked out by the medics, I wasn’t sure if I was about to cry because I was hurt or because I was so embarrassed. After talking to the medics, I had 4 choices:
- Go to the hospital which was completely unnecessary
- Wait for the bus to pick me up at the end and Lord knows how long that would’ve been
- Walk a slightly shorter route back to Everbank Field
- Finish the race.
I chose to keep going because I’ve never had a “DNF” and at least there was alcohol along the course. Perseverance or flat out stubbornness. I don’t know.
Then between my trip to DC and wanting to pull the covers over my head and ignore the world after Kayne passed away, I did nothing for two weeks. I ran twice last week and just two miles at a time felt worse than a trip to the dentist’s office. I ran tonight and again, it was miserable. Granted, we’re reaching that time of year when the temps are rising, and I hate running in the heat. I keep telling myself it’s all about consistency and once I establish a routine again, it’ll feel better. That’s true… right? I sure hope so.
Its just so difficult and mentally challenging for me when I struggle with running. Over the years, running has brought me so much pride, sanity, and happiness combined with a huge sense of accomplishment. To be at odds with it is just painful.
I have a 5k this weekend, so I’d like to get in at least two more runs between now and then. I’m considering doing a 10-20 day run streak just to force myself back into a routine. I’ve never really done that, so I think it could be a positive change for me and my relationship with running.