If you haven’t yet today, make sure you let the mothers in your life know that their hard work is appreciated. The job of a mother is like no other – always on call & endlessly frustrating & rewarding at the same time. I know I was a pain in the ass to my mother (especially as a teenager), so I figure a pretty big thank you is in order.
I know I usually don’t post twice in a day, but I happened to take a look at my calendar & take note of the date – the 28th.
Time is such a mystery. Sometimes it seems like a minute can take an eternity & other times you completely lose track of it while it flies by. I’ve struggled with time in the past. When life is crappy, time seems to stand still. But when it’s great? Its at warp speed.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris Bueller
A month ago today, I started a new chapter in my life. I let go of the past by moving into my own apartment. I made a conscious choice to move on & move forward with my life. Since then, time has flown by in the blink of an eye.
So you know what that means, right?
I am happy. Blissfully happy.
This week has been better. Nothing extraordinary by any means, but I definitely feel like everything is headed in a much more positive direction.
After all my bitching & moaning last week, I came to terms with the cards I’ve been dealt & made some decisions with my own best interest at heart. I refuse to be unhappy. I refuse to let myself wallow in misery. It’s not me. It’s not my style. It’s not who I am.
So I’m moving on.
Faith is a funny thing. It’s elusive. It’s fickle. But it’s magical.
Whether its faith in a higher power or faith that things will get better, sticking to that optimistic belief can be a struggle. Today is a struggle for me.
I feel like despite my best efforts, 2012 & I haven’t started out on the right foot. I let myself believe that the New Year would bring instant changes & breathe a new life of optimism in me. I’m an optimist, idealist & romantic for the most part. I thought at the stroke of midnight, my luck would change & I would find peace & happiness.
What I forgot about is patience. I have to be patient.
The stroke of midnight didn’t change the situation between my ex & I & our house. How could it? We’re stuck between a rock & a hard place & have finally made a serious decision after weighing all of the possible consequences. It sickens me to even speak about it.
The stroke of midnight didn’t magically make me lose the 10 lbs I gained emotionally eating over the past year & a half. That’s going to take hard work & effort. Time to put on my big girl panties, watch what I eat & hit the gym with a ferocity.
The stroke of midnight didn’t make feelings change or grow. I know what I want & I know what I deserve. No more settling, that much is for sure.
So here I sit in my own pity party filled with resentment & bitterness. I’m mad at the world. I’m angry over things out of my control. Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself praying to a God that I’m not fully sure I believe in. I used to believe people used religion as an emotional crutch, but now I’m not so sure. What if we need a crutch sometimes to help us through our struggles? We use this physically, so why not mentally?
That’s where faith comes in. It’s not strictly a religious concept in my eyes. Yes, I believe there is a bigger plan out there & God has something greater in mind for me. But it’s also having faith that something good is going to happen. Sooner or later, the good will outweigh the bad. It’s learning patience & remaining optimistic that the tides will turn & I will find peace & happiness again.
So today, faith is taking effort. I’m constantly reminding myself that something good is right around the corner. I’m trying. I don’t want to be bitter. I don’t want to be filled with resentment. Happiness is a conscious decision.
I just have to have a little faith.
Yeah, yeah… Another non-food related post. I know & promise I’ll blog about food again very soon.
This morning, I was g-chatting with my dear friend Leah about a guy I’ve been out with a few times. Each date has gone quite well & I’m starting to find myself wondering how much I actually like him. Per usual, I was analyzing details, trying to figure out the “signs” & what they mean, & overall just over-thinking everything.
& then she sent me this:
…. While I haven’t been blogging.
The past 3 months or so have been hectic, to say the least. My ex & I are now legally divorced & I’ve just been picking up the pieces & doing what I can to get my life back in order.
I know my last blog post was at the beginning of November & a significant amount has occurred in my life since then. While I usually don’t get too personal on this blog, seeing as it is a food blog, I’m thinking I want to change that. I struggle with Writer’s Block at times because I’ve tried to keep myself from getting personal. In the end though, I think my best writing comes from the heart & that’s what I’m going to do.
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